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An American’s Facebook View of England

Photo by Chris Lawton unsplash.com/@chrislawton
Photo by Chris Lawton unsplash.com/@chrislawton

Hats off to Scott Waters

After a recent visit to England, the American visitor, Scott Waters had a number of informed observations. Scott’s Facebook post was shared 50,000 times and counting and is both funny, informative and accurate!

I was in England again a few weeks ago, mostly in small towns, but here’s some of what I learned:

  • Almost everyone is very polite
  • The food is generally outstanding
  • There are no guns
  • There are too many narrow stairs
  • Everything is just a little bit different
  • The pubs close too early
  • The reason they drive on the left is because all their cars are built backwards
  • Pubs are not bars, they are community living rooms
  • You’d better like peas, potatoes and sausage
  • Refrigerators and washing machines are very small
  • Everything is generally older, smaller and shorter
  • People don’t seem to be afraid of their neighbours or the government
  • Their paper money makes sense, the coins don’t
  • Everyone has a washing machine but driers are rare
  • Hot and cold water faucets. Remember them?
  • Pants are called “trousers”, underwear are “pants” and sweaters are “jumpers”
  • The bathroom light is a string hanging from the ceiling
  • “Fanny” is a naughty word, as is “shag”
  • All the signs are well designed with beautiful typography and written in full sentences with proper grammar
  • There’s no dress code
  • Doors close by themselves, but they don’t always open
  • They eat with their forks upside down
  • The English are as crazy about their gardens as Americans are about cars
  • They don’t seem to use face cloths or napkins or maybe they’re just neater than we are
  • The wall outlets all have switches, some don’t do anything
  • There are hardly any cops or police cars
  • 5,000 year ago, someone arranged a lot of rocks all over, but no one is sure why
  • When you do see police they seem to be in male & female pairs and often smiling
  • Black people are just people: they didn’t quite do slavery here
  • Everything comes with chips, which are French fries. You put vinegar on them
  • Cookies are “biscuits” and potato chips are “crisps”
  • HP sauce is better than catsup
  • Obama is considered a hero, Bush is considered an idiot
  • After fish and chips, curry is the most popular food
  • The water controls in showers need detailed instructions
  • They can boil anything
  • Folks don’t always lock their bikes